Sitting on my back porch, watching the golf course go by, enjoying retirement. (Photo by K)
To my friends (if you’re interested): my Top Ten reflections on retirement (after three and a half months):
1) Just because you play golf a lot doesn’t mean you’ll get better. (Actually, I have gotten better—probably because I don’t care about getting better as much as I used to—golf is a spiritual exercise.)
2) Your significant other is the most important relationship you have on the planet–you cannot possibly put too much energy into it. (True, true, true. Unfortunately, it is also the easiest relationship to take for granted. K and I seem to float around each other as much as we connect. I have to put more energy into her.)
3) Good health is paramount to enjoying life. Diet, exercise and bad habits are daily battlefields that have to be addressed. I wish I had realized this earlier. (Haha. What I’ve realized is the battlefield is a constant and will be for the rest of my days. It’s a battle worth fighting, though.)
4) Your conscious mind retires before your subconscious does…(I have had at least 30 school anxiety dreams since retirement day!) (Huge improvement here, though they haven’t gone completely away. I have as many dreams about golf and about my family as I do about school these days.)
5) Alarm clocks suck (the life out of you). (I’ll let this one stand on its own.)
6) Value and nurture your pre-retirement relationships–you are retiring, not withdrawing. (If it wasn’t for social media, you, my beloved friends from the past, would have mostly disappeared. How sad! Time marches forward, not back.)
7) Equally important: put energy into building post-retirement relationships–there are so many interesting people in this world! (Between golf and church, this has happened pretty organically for me.)
8) Family, family, family: duh. (Whether you are a Christian or any other faith, I’d be shocked if you pray about anything more than your family.)
9) If spiritual things have not become more important and more meaningful to you, you’ve made a wrong turn somewhere. (Or so I believe.)
10) Pay attention: I suspect that God (or the universe or whatever you want to call it) is trying to speak to us all the time–we are born deaf. (His voice is just so subtle…and I create so much internal dissonance. But I’m more convinced than ever that He is speaking…dear Lord, teach me to listen.)
p.s.–This is what I’ve observed, not necessarily what I practice–but I’m trying!
p.p.s.—I love retirement—people are surprised when I tell them this is my favorite period of my life. I can only come up with two reasons: A) my two biggest stress producers, money and time, don’t have much sway over me; and B) I vowed I was going to make my relationship with God my first priority when I retired. I have never looked back.
Thank you. Your words speak volumes.
Aw, Jeannette…I can’t tell you how much the thought that you might get something from my writing pleases me…you of the gentle heart.
Good thoughts, Dallin! I love retirement, too. Besttime of my life as we learn to be in Him and listen and live. I agree with Ross on praying together. Taking communion together, too, has been good. Good writing!
“…be in Him and listen and live…” think of those crazy young fools who gathered at Bouchelle Street and how far He has brought them along…to where we know that “…to be in Him and listen and live..” is the key to the whole thing! unreal. how great Thou art.
Excellent — everything you said. I add: 1). Growing your prayer life with your wife is so awesome! Never dreamed how much our prayers together are so different — in a wonderful way — than solitary prayer, which is awesome too, just different. 2). Learning recently after 3.75 years retired, it is a bit like winning the lottery. (Or, as I imagine winning the lottery would be.) That is, at first the money/time seems almost infinite and you spend it freely on all kinds of things. But now, one realizes, “hey, I’m going through this money/time faster than I thought! I need to spend it more carefully on what is important for the future.” 3). Whereas 40 years ago, “Let no one look down on your youthfulness..” was a “go to”-verse, now it is Psalm 71:18 — “And even when I am old and gray, O God, do not forsake me, until I declare Thy strength to this generation.”
Ross — you are so right, Ross. we have been in a bit of a quandry here (nothing serious) and it has been edgy. The exact solution is praying together. I know she will agree..i think she suggested it a few days ago. we need to pray together. tonight. we will. loved your other comments…i realize at this point it is more about spending my time and less about spending my money. Trying to find a rhythm. totally agree on point three–as i said, the old and gray doesn’t seem so bad to me…glad i am not the person i was in my “youthfulness.”
Love your ten things! I highly recommend the book “Listening” by Lee Coit. It is a book about learning to listen to your inner voice(God’s voice in my opinion). It was suggested reading by John Barnes the Physical Therapist who developed the treatment technique called Myofascial Release. I have gone to Sedona, AZ twice for his seminars before I chose to retire from being a Physical Therapist.
Lee’s books really changed my life for the better. I really enjoy your blog.
Thank you, Gina. I appreciate your encouragement. I have written down your book recommendation, and if my library doesn’t have it, i’ll order it. Sounds interesting, and changing a life for the better is a significant thing. thanks for reading.