(Photo by Steve Slate)
Okay, I am sure you have your own list, but if mine gets you thinking about yours, that is a good thing. All that follows are illuminations, insights, existential hypotheses, moments of clarity, revelations that changed the way I looked at the world. I mean, stuff that stuck with me. Most of these are literary or musical voices, but I am certain your mind can be opened in innumerable ways.
• Timshal – from East of Eden, Steinbeck’s greatest novel. I can’t remember the context, but the message I got was clear: Thou mayest. God gave me free will—He invites me to exercise it. The morality comes from the inside, not the outside.
• “Wait and hope.” – from The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmund Dantes’ last words of advice to his beloved Mercedes and her husband. No matter what storms life unveils upon you, there is always a safe haven…wait and hope. I think I’ve shared that quote with hundreds of people—two word primer on how to deal with sorrow.
• “You don’t know what it’s like to be a man until you stand inside his shoes.” Atticus Finch to Scout in To Kill a Mockingbird, the most compassionate novel ever written, expressed in this one sentence.
• “He not busy being born is busy dying.” Bob Dylan, from “It’s alright, Ma, I’m only bleeding” on Bringing It All Back Home. You cannot stand still. If you are not moving forward, then you are floating backward. You have to choose to live. (This song may be the greatest anthem for being your own person that ever was.)
• “Que sera, sera” — This is a Doris Day song and in a Hitchcock movie, but I got it from my mom. “Whatever will be, will be.” We have to try and do good, we have to try to make the world better, but we have to always remember—we are not in control.
• “Gehennam deh.” — this was Tatar or Tartar or whatever my grandmother spoke. It meant “Go to hell.” She said it to me often, sardonically.
• This is a throwback to sixth or seventh grade: “Some people cower and wince and shrink, owing to fear of what people might think. There is one answer to worries like these—people can think whatever they please.” Piet Heins in Grooks II. It might have enabled me to survive my adolescence. Aw, I was probably as susceptible to peer pressure as anyone else, and there are probably a thousand incidents to illustrate it. But I knew…that who I was was not determined by what people thought of me. I used to run that little poem through my head many times when I needed it.
• “It is better to ask forgiveness than permission.” Source unknown. The anthem of my teaching career, although it scares the hell out of me now. I do believe that you have to take risks.
• “I have measured out my life in coffee spoons.” The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S. Elliot. Wonderful image—what I absolutely do not want to say about my life. Was it all about the routine? Is that what kept me going? I don’t think so, and I certainly hope not.
• “In vino veritas.” — (latin) good or bad, there is some truth to this.
• “You are what you eat.” The Beatles in Yellow Submarine. The dawn of my dietary consciousness.
• “Is it fun being you?” Okay, this is mine. I used to ask my tennis players this all the time. I feel, deep down, that it should be fun being you. I promise, most of the time, it is fun being me. If it is not fun being you, something is out of whack. Figure out what it is, and fix it.
• “God isn’t that generous.” My mother, again. She would say it sometimes consolingly, when our realities didn’t live up to our hopes. She would say it sometimes cynically, when our visions soared over her experiences. She was wrong. He is.
• “And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.” The Beatles, the end of Abbey Road. I think this song changed my life. I was in my late adolescence…I was wondering what I wanted to do with myself—career, etc. And they taught me that it wasn’t about money…it was about the impact you have on people in a positive way—which is love. And you didn’t have to worry about yourself, because it would automatically come back to you. I believed the Beatles and changed my direction, and they have never been proven wrong.
That’s it, that’s my list. (Well, I could come up with more.) This was a really fun post for me to write, because I have realized how these thoughts and phrases have influenced me throughout my life. I’ll bet you anything you have your own list. You ought to think about it.
Yellow submarine and To kill a mockingbird are on my top five best movies of all time. I had a father like Atticus finch and a mother like the Tao. One f my favorite quotes “big dream, big life”. “Today I have all the time in the world” (me) “love like your life depends on it”(me)
Love you,
Dal
i love all three of yours, Gretch. In fact, that’s how i remember you…full of life, living in the moment. it makes me happy that you read my blog posts.
I enjoyed this and it did make me think about my list — I have one that immediately came to mind — “ Here’s to those who wish me well and those that don’t can go to hell!” This was the toast my mom made at every holiday meal. I used to cringe as this was a family passed down tradition toast. Since Mom has passed I have taken up her “torch”. She really liked you and making cookies for you and Karen. I will explore more of my own list — thanks and hope you and family are well and happy
i think the toast is pure grandma…keep it going.
Many of these still resonate with me long after my time on your tennis court. Although, I distinctly remember one in particular that was “shared” with me quite often, especially when I was acting bossy and huffy.
“It is better to live out in the desert than with a nagging and contentious woman.” ‑Proverbs 21:19
Now that I am married, I’m sure my husband would happily agree with this verse. It’s good to have that check. Thank you for reminding me not to nag so much, to go with the flow, and to know, what will be, will be. It is still fun being me, and I don’t see any sign of that stopping.
I agree, Karyn. I can’t even imagine it not being fun being you. check out my next blog post (sunday) for your Proverbs verse. Great to hear from you!
Coach, I think you forgot one of the most important ones:
“Get off of my bus, my bus, I don’t want to see you no more!”
sam, you are right! i wish i had thought of that one. i always felt like i owed you all an explanation (although i really did want you to get off the bus).
Love the little poem from Grooks 2. Had never heard of the books or the author. After researching , I think I will have to get a couple. You definitely made me wonder about my list.
i think there were four volumes. i think i read them all. i love it that you are thinking about your list. please share.