Photo by me
“I need for something
No, let me break it down again
I need for something
But not more medicine.”
–from Ill With Want by the Avett Brothers
The Malmgren Thanksgiving reunion ended on Sunday. There is nothing on this earth I value more than getting together with my three children, their spouses, and our six granddaughters. Broken Bow, Oklahoma is an excellent resort spot, and our huge cabin might have been the best ever (the Malmgrens are a traveling reunion family). But there is never a guarantee for perfection. Illness struck and wormed itself through most of the family. Nothing serious—a heavy cold—but enough to conjure misery. Throughout the four days, someone or other was confined to a bedroom. We had fun, but not as much fun, and a general sense of exhaustion pervaded our departure on Sunday.
So now we are home. My older son and his wife and baby Ayla planned to stay until Tuesday, but Annalisa and Ayla got slammed late in the game. They have already had to move their flight back a day—there is always more worry involved when a child is sick.
It came on me on Saturday, but medications and hot toddies got me through the day. Sunday morning was a blur of activity with all the repacking and cleaning up. I felt better while driving home (God’s grace) but was re-slammed when I got here. I am the worst sufferer ever. Grumpy and miserable and cold. My wife doesn’t nurse me; she lets me be. I lay in bed under the covers, and I just want it to be over (my illness, not my life—unless I get really bleak…been there a few times). But deep down I know…
I was talking with my son a while ago. He was lamenting how the universe (he leaves God out of it as a courtesy to me) had conspired to turn a trip they had looked forward to as a high point of the year into one of misery and suffering (he was the one who had it worst during the actual reunion—and he suffers like me!). I told him the bible says that “…suffering produces endurance…” Of course, this was absolutely no consolation to him—I was like the three guys who tried to tell Job why his life sucked. And yet, the effect doesn’t change the deeper truth of the entire passage: “Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” (Romans 5:4–5)
I got some insight into why all this is necessary at the actual reunion. The two youngest children became enchanted by the same stuffed penguin. One held it and the other grabbed it. They locked eyes. There was no compromise—no sense of sharing—no negotiation about who had received the gift—there was only I WANT THIS. (A deft mom who distracted one of them with something else averted the crisis.) These are innocent babes—the problem lies at the core of human nature. Every one of us battles that urge every day—we have to be trained away from it. Nothing produces misery like selfishness. Can we be changed? It seems an overwhelming task. With God, all things are possible.
I want to close with my favorite verse from the Avett Brothers song I began with:
“Temporary is my time
Ain’t nothing on this world that’s mine
Except the will I’ve found to carry on
Free is not your right to choose
It’s answering what’s asked of you
To give the love you find until it’s gone.”
Dallin, nice choice of song; and yes, the struggle to support and supply one another’s needs is a blessing.
I remember being sick on a holiday, its the worst especially since you look forward to seeing people during the holidays! This will definitely be one for the ol memory book.
You always find a way to speak wisdom and joy to unexpected places and situations! I appreciate these words of inspiration. Your writing offers me hope and comfort. Love you, Dallin. I also love this commitment you’ve made to share your words. It is a gift.
What a beautiful cabin. So sorry that illness kept it from being the best times ever. Hope you are recovering.
Just Beautiful! Sorry for the illness damper but I can just feel the love and warmth your house. We had a wonderful holiday. I’m just filled up in every way. All gone now back to their lives and I to mine but what lovely remainders of the day.