I Will Be Brave…a meditation on fear

I think fear is evil’s most pow­er­ful weapon. Fear pits itself against some of the human spirit’s most benev­o­lent impuls­es. Fear keeps us from becom­ing the kind of peo­ple we want to be. Fear par­a­lyzes, love flows.

There are two types of fear: exter­nal and inter­nal. I list­ed exter­nal first because it is the more pub­li­cized. Just watch­ing the news this week, I felt the fear of sharks, tor­na­does, Rus­sians, buf­fa­lo (!), greedy com­pa­nies, for­est fires, psy­cho peo­ple who could be any­one, and, of course, Trump. That is where we focus our defense mech­a­nisms to com­bat our fear—on the exter­nal stuff. I sus­pect the dev­il likes it that way. But I think the fear that we repress and ignore and dis­guise is the inter­nal fear. That fear can spread with­in us like the roots of a tree, but at its most basic essence, it is the fear to be our­selves. There is a cure.

My biggest fear is let­ting go. I have a recur­rent, unset­tling fear of heights. The root of that must be that I am afraid I will let myself go and jump. I don’t want to jump, I don’t plan to jump. But I am afraid that on impulse I will let myself jump. I ‘m scared of what will hap­pen if I just let go. Do you see how inter­nal that fear is?

But what does it mean to let go? I want it to mean that I put my com­plete trust in God: for every event, for every cir­cum­stance, for every deci­sion, for every rela­tion­ship, for every con­ver­sa­tion; for every action, for every reac­tion. God has promised me He is with me every sin­gle moment of my life. I don’t always (actu­al­ly, not very often) feel His pres­ence. So the bridge is faith—I can only real­ize His pres­ence by believ­ing He is here. The genius of His plan is that as we believe He becomes more real. Dear Lord, increase my faith.

The biggest fear of my teach­ing career: How would I react in a school shoot­ing sit­u­a­tion? Before I retired, I used to pray I would stand up and throw my sta­pler at the guy and not hide under my desk. You don’t know for sure how you will react. That is inter­nal fear.

What is the source of my fear? That there is a being more pow­er­ful than I, bent on my destruc­tion, who I will even­tu­al­ly suc­cumb to. That I will become evil. That I will choose wrong vs. right. When you are total­ly cor­rupt­ed, you are lost.

How does my fear affect me? By mak­ing me become less than I am meant to be. By encour­ag­ing me to set­tle. By keep­ing things on a super­fi­cial lev­el inten­tion­al­ly. By think­ing of the worst-case sce­nario first. By think­ing more about myself than oth­ers. By hid­ing Jesus rather than pro­claim­ing Him. By nav­i­gat­ing life rather than embrac­ing it. By fig­ur­ing out how to just get by.

Wow, I’ve described a neu­rot­ic mess. Lost, but not hope­less. Actu­al­ly, I am far more opti­mistic than that. Because when you come right down to it, there are only two choic­es: be brave or let your fear hide you.

Have I not com­mand­ed you? Be strong and coura­geous. (Joshua 1:9) The bravest thing we can do is act in the light of His pres­ence. It is a sub­tle commitment—most of the time you don’t know if He’s there. But you believe that He is and you act accord­ing­ly. That is the soul of bravery.

What I love is that we get so many oppor­tu­ni­ties to exer­cise our brav­ery mus­cle through­out every ordi­nary day. Every choice we make sub­lim­i­nal­ly makes a state­ment to the throne: “I am for You” or “I am for myself.” When we choose beyond our­selves, we are being brave–the cure I men­tioned earlier.

And so I vow to be braver. I believe our char­ac­ter only real­ly changes as we allow God to change it, not as we strive to become a dif­fer­ent per­son. Con­se­quent­ly, I invite You, Lord Jesus, to exam­ine my heart, to sep­a­rate the wheat from the chaff, to change me as I need to be changed, and to make me the per­son You want me to be. As You con­tin­ue Your life­long open heart surgery, I will be brave.

After­word: I am pret­ty sure (still check­ing it out) that if you get a han­dle on the inter­nal fear, the exter­nal will become far less terrifying.

Comments

  • Read­ing this made me ask some of myself some of the ques­tions you raised. Not a par­tic­u­lar­ly pleas­ant excur­sion. Look­ing into myself and gen­uine­ly and open­ly ask­ing , “What am I afraid of? What am I real­ly afraid of?” feels like I know I’m about to have a molar pulled. I real­ly don’t want to do this, don’t want to see, don’t want to know.

    But know­ing He is greater than all and what­ev­er is revealed to me is not for pun­ish­ment or ridicule and rejec­tion, but for lib­er­a­tion and whole­ness, helps the sur­ren­der. Still, though, not fun. Maybe it’s Jesus as lov­ing, per­ma­nent­ly heal­ing dentist?

    Speak­ing of let­ting go… I just down­loaded a book a few weeks ago titled “Let­ting Go: The Path­way of Sur­ren­der” by David Hawkins, Ph.D. Haven’t looked at it. Not a Chris­t­ian book, but it came high­ly rec­om­mend­ed. I’ll give you an update down the road if there are help­ful tools in it.

    Thanks for post, Dallin, and for stir­ring up my thinking.

    Eugene5 September, 2019
    • Jesus as root canal…i’ve been there (in fact, kind of going through that now.) Shak­en but not stirred. Two steps I am learn­ing: 1) believe in His good­ness 2) give it to Him. And then i go back to the Count of Monte Cristo–wait and hope.

      Dallin Malmgren5 September, 2019
    • Loved your response, Eugene. Remind­ed me I am not alone (in my inse­cu­ri­ties). I have to keep remind­ing myself He is in charge of my treat­ment. I just have to learn to pay atten­tion (which is a process, not a revelation).

      Dallin Malmgren16 September, 2019
  • Hey Dallin, Loved your essay and think you are right on the mon­ey!! One of the nice things about AA is the con­cept of ‘rig­or­ous hon­esty — we are so used to deceiv­ing and short­chang­ing our­selves, aren’t we? The book that helped me along this line was Search for Sig­nif­i­cance — about our fear of fail­ure, of rejec­tion, of pun­ish­ment, of nev­er being able to change. When I learned to accept that say­ing “I screwed up” was an admis­sion of human­i­ty and humil­i­ty and not defeat it changed a lot for me. Now I am a psy­chi­atric nurse prac­ti­tion­er in Col­orado Springs and so hap­py to share God’s love with oth­ers. Thank you for your remark­able jour­ney and the won­der­ful impact you have had on doubt­less num­ber of lives!! Love to you both!! Kathy (Roush) Myatt

    Kathy (Roush) Myatt2 September, 2019
    • Thank you for your encour­ag­ing response. God has used so many dif­fer­ent books to move me back to the right path…i’ve got­ten to where I pray about what I am going to read. i loved your line “…so hap­py to share God’s love with oth­ers…” At this point in our lives, i tru­ly believe that is what it is all about.

      Dallin Malmgren5 September, 2019
  • Thanks for your kind words about the essay. Karen and I are both ful­ly retired and liv­ing in Frisco, TX, about 25 min. away from our youngest son, his wife, and 3 (of 6, total) won­der­ful grand­daugh­ters. From the con­tact I’ve had with a num­ber of ex-NCF’ers, God has been extreme­ly gen­er­ous to all of us. I’m not sure I would use the phrase “mature in faith”. I do think I’ve become more aware of how wor­thy He is of all the atten­tion we can give Him. Bless­ings on your AirBNB! Karen says hi back to you.

    Dallin Malmgren30 August, 2019
  • You def­i­nite­ly are wise in your analy­sis on fear vs courage! It’s a joy to hear that you’re mature in your faith and trust­ing our Father more than I remem­ber hear­ing from you. It’s been quite a while since we were face to face, I’m now semi-retired from my career as a psy­chol­o­gist, and live about 20 miles west of Colum­bia on a small place (3 acres) in a qui­et, tran­quil place south of Boonville. We just start­ed an Air B&B! Greet your wife for me. ?

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