Hello, Jesus: my true confession

It has been about three and a half years since I retired from teach­ing.  I have to con­fess, I haven’t looked back at all.  Don’t miss it, haven’t kept in touch, don’t think about it (but still dream about it!)—I even avoid good old Clemens High School like the plague.

I knew that when I retired I would be start­ing a new chap­ter in my life.  I want­ed to be ful­ly present for that chap­ter.  Of course, my old stand­by plan had been that I would con­cen­trate on my writ­ing.  I always thought of myself as a teacher and a writer.  Lo and behold, I dis­cov­ered that I had noth­ing to write about.  At least noth­ing that real­ly grabbed me.

But it went deep­er than that.  I fig­ure this is the final chap­ter of my life.  Oh, I don’t mean to be dra­mat­ic.  I hope it will be a long chap­ter.  Maybe more like a Part III with a bunch of chap­ters con­tained with­in.  How­ev­er you look at it, the ques­tion con­front­ed me:  What do I want to do with the rest of my life?  More than any­thing else?  (No, not golf.)

I met Jesus when I was twen­ty-six years old.  I was pret­ty lost—happy on the out­side, bro­ken inside.  I accept­ed Him into my life.  He led me to a fine and beau­ti­ful wife, blessed us with three vibrant chil­dren, guid­ed me into a chal­leng­ing and ful­fill­ing career, res­cued me from every bad deci­sion and cri­sis I could man­u­fac­ture, and gave me a life full of love and laugh­ter and joy.

But all along the way, I knew I was only scratch­ing the sur­face of my rela­tion­ship with Him.  I was a nom­i­nal Chris­t­ian float­ing in the mid­stream.  I checked out okay on the exte­ri­ors:  good on Bible read­ing (I like to read), weak on church atten­dance (still don’t love church, but I have gained an appre­ci­a­tion for it), no major David/Bathsheba trans­gres­sions but tons of minor self-indul­gences.  Nat­u­ral­ly, when the major crises arose, I would become devout, and when they passed I would slip back into self-absorp­tion.  Still He blessed me.

And so my true retire­ment goal became clear to me.  This most impor­tant of all my rela­tion­ships was the one I had kept on the back burn­er.  I was hold­ing Him at arm’s length.  Fool­ish Gala­t­ian!  Just con­sid­er His promis­es:  “I am with you always…”  “…abide in Me…”  “I can do all things through Him…”  “…yet not I, but Christ liv­ing in me…”  “…foun­tains of liv­ing water…”  Those are invi­ta­tions, folks!

I can remem­ber in a book group dis­cus­sion I had one time, the pre­vail­ing opin­ion was that Jesus was a won­der­ful teacher, a peer­less role mod­el, a proof of what exists inside us all.  If I had to fol­low that Jesus, I would with­er in despair.  It would be like being pre­sent­ed with a brand new shiny Corvette and not hav­ing the keys or any oth­er means of start­ing the engine.  Nice to look at but basi­cal­ly use­less.  He lives.

So I have embarked on my retire­ment.  Three plus years.  Wow.  I’d love to report that I am a changed man, trans­formed, walk­ing around with a glow.  Hon­est­ly, I doubt that you’d notice much dif­fer­ence from the man you knew when­ev­er you knew me.  But I believe that the Holy Spir­it works from the inside out.  I still do a thou­sand things to impede His progress, but I am on His side.  He reveals Jesus to me.

I have over 2,000 friends on Face­book.  This was a piti­ful plan I hatched when I decid­ed to use social media to become a famous author.  To quote my boy Bob Dylan, “I was so much old­er then, I’m younger than that now.”  If I have any “teach­ing” left in me, it can only be to point to Him.  Praise His Name.

Love God and love your neighbor—the sum of the com­mand­ments.  Pret­ty sim­ple for­mu­la for dai­ly liv­ing.  And cer­tain­ly some­thing worth writ­ing about!

Comments

  • AND love your­self on the same lev­el as your neigh­bor, bud­dy! So many of us for­get to love our­selves or place our­selves at the bot­tom of the pile, then we get angry when we feel ‘cheat­ed.’ So “love your neigh­bor AS you love your­self” is a big priority. :)

    Bless­ings!
    Susan

    Sus19 December, 2017
    • Very inter­est­ing. To be hon­est, I always felt I was guilty of lov­ing myself too much…but I think that “as” is a very impor­tant word.

      Dallin Malmgren7 July, 2019
  • Touched my heart!

    Karen Bagwell13 December, 2017
  • Yourb­hoen­st­ly is deeply appre­ci­at­ed! So glad to read your words again & see His spir­it at work inside you!

    Anonymous1 December, 2017
  • You inspire me to write about the two years since my retire­ment. I have so much to say.

    Ross Haselhorst1 December, 2017

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