This sculpture is entitled “The Speed of Grace” and is in the new addition of the sculpture garden in City Park in New Orleans (Photo by K)
Do you want to change? We all feel like we should, in one way or another, but is it okay not to change? To be satisfied just as you are? That sounds good, but it doesn’t work for me. That would be settling. I’ve never met anyone that I thought was flat-out perfect when I met her. (Yes, it was mostly hers—and some of them came close.) How would anyone be satisfied exactly as he/she is?
Can we change ourselves? “That’s just the way I am.” That phrase has driven me crazy more than any other in the American consciousness. That is someone who has sat down in the middle of the race. True change will never be against your will, at least any meaningful change. You have to be open.
To be more specific—this is internal change we are discussing. I’m not talking job or lifestyle or appearance (all important topics, by the way). This is character. Changing what you don’t like about yourself. And if you are more concerned about a pimple than you are about your envy of your cool friend, you have headed off course.
To move forward, I am going to assume that you, like me, see a need for change. This is a huge assumption because my observation is that most of us don’t really want to change. I call that blindness…been blind most of my adult life. But I also see that deep down (soulishly), we want to get better, we want to do better, we want to be better. And that’s where we get bulldozed by the weight loss/self-image/approval seeking/captain-of-my-ship monster that is controlling our mental airwaves. (Get down to 175. Work out five hours a week. Read my Bible every morning.) You can do it.
Then we doom ourselves by trying to measure the goal of the proposed change. We do this with pounds, bank accounts, social media hits, golf handicaps, resumes, bucket lists and so on. Every goal is self-directed. And we are lost.
So here’s my question, and the point of this whole meditation…can we change ourselves? Sadly (or not), I don’t think we can. I find that my will is as weak as my faith (but my faith has a better reserve). I cannot will myself to a better character. I can’t find it in me. I have to receive it. It’s called the fruit of the Spirit.
I don’t think I ever finished it, but I loved the title of Oswald Chambers’ 365 day devotional: My Utmost for His Highest. Whoa. That is some call to a relationship, isn’t it? No one can believe utmost has already been reached. It is a goal, an aspiration, a determination to move forward. His Highest? Unimaginably blissful. Who would not want to move closer to that?
I’ve never been very good at the practical steps. I love the verse about “…being renewed by the transforming of our minds…” Commit yourself to being changed, not changing. Breathe (really—pay attention to that). Also, pay attention. Here and now is all that matters at each particular instant—it all just adds up. Seek out others—they have more power to change you than you do. Listen. God loves good listeners. And desire to be changed. Clay. Potter. Believe.
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