My divorce from Hollywood

It might be anoth­er symp­tom of old age. It has become more and more dif­fi­cult for me to sit through a movie, and to keep from won­der­ing, as I am sit­ting through, how much longer? To watch a movie in a the­ater height­ens the sense of dis­com­fort. If I pause a movie on my TV, there’s a decent chance I will nev­er come back to it.

This is a fair­ly recent afflic­tion, though it has crept up slow­ly. Since the mid-1990’s, I have kept a log of every movie I’ve watched (I also give it a grade). My list is get­ting close to 2000 films. In 25 years, that’s an aver­age of near­ly 80 movies a year, more than one a week. That doesn’t count movies I watch more than once. That makes me a pret­ty avid movie fan, doesn’t it?

So what has gone wrong? Back in the day, I had an ulte­ri­or motive. When the mar­ket for my young adult nov­els dried up (I had two pub­lished, then wrote four with­out suc­cess), I decid­ed to try my hand at screen­writ­ing. I loved movies, and I only had to hit on one to strike it rich (aver­age pay­ment for an orig­i­nal script in Hol­ly­wood was $175K—or so I read). So I began to study the craft, which meant see­ing a lot of movies. The good thing about my “research” was that I could share it with my wife, my kids, or any­one else who liked to watch and talk about movies. I end­ed up writ­ing four screen­plays, none of which hit the bigtime.

My dreams of an Oscar fad­ed away. Now any movie-watch­ing moti­va­tion focused more on enter­tain­ment. I grav­i­tat­ed toward two gen­res: the Young Adult movie (prob­a­bly because I was a high school teacher) and the Rom-Com (because some­where in my heart I am a hope­less roman­tic). But I still watched movies from every genre (and grad­ed them ruthlessly). 

The spe­cial ones, however—the ones that moved me in my soul—were the ones that reflect­ed, or at least shined a light on, real life—the human expe­ri­ence. The ones that made you want to be a bet­ter person—that made you admire the human spirit—that filled you with an appre­ci­a­tion for life… The movies that made you real­ize that film-mak­ing was art—not just enter­tain­ment. I could give you a list, but I trust you can come up with your own.

So how did it become hard for me to watch movies? No doubt, some of the fault lies with my own antiquity—but I can also point a fin­ger at you, Hol­ly­wood. Super­heroes and sequels and slash­ers and sensationalism…most espe­cial­ly, the glo­ri­fi­ca­tion of vio­lence. Look what they done to my art, ma. My spir­i­tu­al mus­es, the Avett Broth­ers, sing: “If you think there isn’t any con­nec­tion between/ All the vio­lence you see in real life and what’s on the screen/ Well it seems painful­ly clear to me/ That you’re liv­ing in a fan­ta­sy.” I can still walk out of a the­ater feel­ing uplift­ed, but the odds are far greater that I’m going to feel beat down.

And these pur­vey­ors have dragged the whole film indus­try with them, from film crit­i­cism to enter­tain­ment jour­nal­ism to artis­tic achieve­ment to self-con­grat­u­la­tion­al­ism. I can bare­ly open an Enter­tain­ment Week­ly. I don’t want to see pre­views of com­ing attrac­tions (used to enjoy that as much as the show). I don’t believe award nom­i­na­tions have any­thing to do with artis­tic mer­it. And I don’t want to hear actors thank their agents and pub­li­cists and per­son­al assis­tants. The entire enter­prise has become self-inflat­ed, and any­one with clear vision can rec­og­nize the true idol: mon­ey. It sur­pris­es me that Hol­ly­wood hates Trump—or is that just a veneer?

I am lucky that my wife can go to movies with her sis­ter now—they both enjoy the expe­ri­ence, and they don’t have to lis­ten to me grouse. And when they report some­thing they real­ly enjoyed, I make a men­tal note (50/50 chance that I will fol­low up on it). I espe­cial­ly enjoy sit­ting on my back porch in the springtime.

So I am fil­ing for divorce, Hol­ly­wood. Oh, we can still keep in touch. We have many mutu­al friends—they will let me know what you are up to. I won’t hes­i­tate to con­tact you if you catch my inter­est. No hard feel­ings. I hope you return to your younger vision—when you won my heart.

Comments

  • I don’t see a lot of movies but in the past few weeks I did see A Hid­den Life which was one of the most beau­ti­ful and pow­er­ful movies I’ve ever seen. Also one of the sad­dest, on sev­er­al lev­els. But def­i­nite­ly worth see­ing. It’s long but I nev­er felt impa­tient for it to end.
    Then I went to see Par­a­site because it was get­ting such great reviews and was high­ly rec­om­mend­ed. I thought it was hor­ri­ble and was glad when it was over. Too vio­lent and twist­ed for me.

    Jean Neely10 February, 2020
  • I can get into a kid’s movie and thor­ough­ly enjoy it when I am with kids. But, for Sheri and myself, we want to feel our mon­ey and time were well-spent when we leave the the­ater. Few of the recent movies reach that standard.

    Ross Haselhorst9 February, 2020

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