I know, how presumptuous! Like I have any insight at all into your 2017. Actually, the title is just a hook. It was sparked by the realization that this is something I need to do. It’s a tired metaphor, but life really is a journey. Consider the end of each calendar year a milestone, or at least a signpost. A time for reflection—think of yourself on a bus or a train, watching fields and towns and telephone poles go by. But as you look out the window, you also see your own face. Examine it.
So where to start this review? Health seems a good place. That may come across as self-absorbed, but is it really? How you feel affects every other category in this inventory. Take stock. What did you weigh at the beginning of this year and what do you weigh now? (Up from 189 to 194 for me…sigh) What meds are you taking, then and now? A sad truth—there are some issues of health you have little control over. If you have the flu, you feel like crap and there’s not much you can do about it. Or worse things than the flu. The best I can offer is give it to God and live with it. But we can focus on those areas over which we have some control: diet and exercise and attitude. In assessing our health, perspective is an important key—we’re not looking for glorified bodies, we’re looking for improvement.
Next on my list are my relationships. Obviously, family comes to mind first. I know there is a world of dysfunction out there so it’s not an absolute truth, but still…God teaches us unconditional love by giving us children. But how does that play out in real life? It’s certainly not an invitation to license and indulgence, but it’s not spare the rod and spoil the child either. Remember the incredible joy and hope and promise we felt at the moment of birth? How are we doing with that these days? Unconditional love is not how I would characterize my marital relationship—but it should be. (“Husbands, love your wives as Christ loves the church…” Eph. 5:25) Marriage is the real school of love. You can’t fake it, you are going to have nitty gritty moments, it goes way deeper than feelings, and it will involve self-sacrifice. (My personal assessment: after 40 years, I think I’ve moved somewhere between kindergarten and first grade—but I’m still happily enrolled.) I haven’t even mentioned extended family or friends or people from your past that you have neglected. (Note to self: future blog on relationships)
I used to tell my students the two most important choices (non-spiritual) that they would make would be who they chose to live their lives with and what they chose to do. The word career encompasses a lot of different activities today. (If you are at peace with your career, you can skip this paragraph.) If you wake up each day dreading your life because you have to go to work, you need to consider a career change. Three factors comprise an acceptable career to me: 1—can you support yourself doing what you’re doing? 2—are you making some sort of contribution to the world doing it? 3—are you content? If the answer to any question is no, you don’t necessarily have to change jobs, but you might pay attention for warning flags. Career changes rarely happen magically—start with small steps.
A related area to examine, especially as you get older, is your finances. I know people who are old and poor, and it is a difficult life. Misfortune can be a cause, but it can also be a choice. There is a constant battle going on in everybody’s bankbook: debt vs. savings. You have to be able to find a balance (we Malmgrens are notoriously frugal—God is working with me on that). In your self-examination, if you find you are more in debt than you were a year ago, I hope you know why. (“It just happened…” or “Oh well…” are not acceptable reasons. Finances can be a source of tremendous stress—stay on top of it.
I spend a lot of time playing golf. I have no problem with that—golf is a spiritual exercise (really). But I know time is a resource I need to examine. I also care passionately about sports: basketball (Spurs), football (fantasy), and golf (oh, to be able to play like that!) On a more confessional level, I also watch certain sitcom reruns. These pastimes veer dangerously close into that area known as “a waste of time.” People need to have “me” time—periods they can do what they feel like regardless of intrinsic value. But I have a helpful resolution as regards this resource: give more of your time to others. My friend Mike Ball once told me, concerning his retirement, “I try to make sure I do at least one nice thing for someone else every day.” A noble aspiration.
One last item on my inventory: our souls. Jesus said: “What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?” I don’t want this to turn into a sermon, only an encouragement. Tend to your soul like a garden. It will blossom and grow.
Whew. These self-examinations are not an easy business…kind of like putting yourself through a meat grinder. But I suspect the next step might be even harder—how am I going to change?
Thank you…needed this:) Happy New Year? May you be blessed with a happy and Healthy 2018;))